Musings on Callings

Callings. I've always wondered if I'd ever have a calling. Writing has been an integral part of my life and self-identity since a young age but I don't know if it's a calling or more of a desire. Callings would supercede desire.

I've been thinking about all this in the context of the Obama campaign. It's been a calling for many people. I don't know if it's my calling. I don't think it is though it has reawakened in me a desire to change the world for the better. I've wanted to be involved, and have been since he announced, but I don't live and breathe it every day and work endlessly and tirelessly. I do plenty but I would think with a calling you couldn't ignore it and spend time doing other things at its climax. Also, it's really become a movement. Can a movement be a calling?

I do know that the desire to become a mother was powerful in me. It was so powerful I was willing to go through four pregnancies, three miscarriages and IVF to have children. But as powerful and driving as that was, was it a calling? Biological urges probably played a role.

Events can transform a person's life and create a calling. I hesitate to say I wish for a calling because I don't want anything terrible to befall me or my family. That feels too much like tempting fate.

But I do wonder at how some of us clearly have callings that direct and define us while the rest of us muddle through our lives trying to figure out why we're here and what we should do. The best I've ever come up with is that I want to have a positive impact on the world, be the best mother I can be for my children and I still really want to make it as a professional writer. That goal is central to my sense of self and a strong desire.

But a calling, that seems like something profound, something different and rare.

Our minister talks about being called to ministry. It sounds like it's a life altering thing. It sounds like it's something so compelling you can't ignore it.

Do we all have a calling? If we do, do many of us miss it or ignore it? Do circumstances prevent us from answering our calls? Are our dreams/desires the same as a calling?

Ah well, it's late and I'm tired. I don't have any profound wisdom on the topic, just curiousity.