Oh Where To Start?

Between computer issues, the holidays and my husband's layoff I haven't had a chance to write. I'm hoping to get more done now that the holidays are over and I have access to a reliable computer.

It's a bit off topic from politics, parenting and local food but I am so overwhelmed by what the layoff means to our family that it colors everything these days. On my good days I'm okay with the uncertainty. On my bad days I want to crawl under a rock. Fortunately for all of us my days have been leaning towards the good or at least neutral after a bad week during the holidays.

I was proud of myself for getting a part-time job but it's turning out that there isn't much work to be had. So I have the job, yes, but I don't actually work at the moment. Ah more uncertainty to add to the pot.

I wish I could say I've totally pulled myself together and am tackling our challenges head-on while still staying true to my principles and ideals but I'm not.

Exhibt A: I haven't managed to do some things I promised I'd do and it weighs on me. I am not one who breaks promises lightly. What I've promised to do is write a feature article for a web-based newspaper. I won't be paid but it will be a current clip. I should be jumping at this. Four months ago I was eagerly looking for this sort of opportunity. Now I just can't get myself moving. I know I can do it but I just can't seem to push past whatever's stopping me. I know some is depression over the fact that I don't see writing as a viable career path these days (four months ago I did). It's ridiculous but there it is. Now this isn't completely a broken promise because I know I'll get off my ass and write the article but I've taken much longer to do it than I should.

Exhibit B: Local/Community sustainability has become a huge issue for me and I've been trying to do my part by working hard to have us eating locally or at least regionally for the most part. Now I'm feeling pressure to cut the food budget as much as possible and that means a lot of drumsticks and pasta for dinner - not exactly an option from the farm (heck chickens this time of year aren't an option). I'm still trying to buy local where I can but Hannaford is getting more and more of our food money these days. I keep telling myself it's temporary and I know I'm doing the best I can but it makes me wonder about my commitment.

You know, I'm actually very grateful (and thanks if you've made it this far through my moaning!). I'm fortunate enough to be able to sit and pour all this out in a blog. How lucky is that?

Guess it's time to get to work ;-).